December 2011
Wearing new shoes for the first time →
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If American Idol heard me in the shower, they...
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me: hey mom i got an A in this exam
mom: ok i don't care
me: i got a C but so did everyone else beca-
mom: I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE GOT YOU DON'T STUDY OR PUT ANY EFFORT IN YOU ARE STUPID AND I'M SICK OF TRYING TO GET YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU AWFUL DEMON CHILD
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Half of the Philippines is submerged in flood....
me: what did one ocean say to the other ocean
friend: what
me: nothing they just waved
friend: oh
me: do you sea what i did there
friend: no
me: i'm shore you did
friend: stop
me: don't be a beach
friend: bye